Not a 'Tootle-oo'. DO NOT SUCK!
IV
Tim and Poppy's glad smiles shift into stunned 'oh's when they spot the trio gaping back at them. Poppy's gaze melts into disdain when she sees Aggie.
"Well, my goodness, hello, hello!" the stout, brusque Tim finally exclaims jovially. "It really is such a bloody small island after all, isn't it? Lady Mary, lovely as always to see you again!" He sets down his candy bags with a grunt and offers his hand, but balks as he first examines his doughy palm. "Ah, it's quite dry," he mumbles.
"Hello, Tim," Mary politely replies upon taking it. "It's quite lovely to see you, too." She nods uncomfortably to Poppy, who barely reciprocates.
"And Miss Dovecote, how have you been?"
"Oh, it's just plain ol' Aggie, Tim. And except for this doggoned heat I'm the bees' knees!"
"Splendid, splendid! But if you don't mind my asking, plain ol' Aggie, right off the bat, what I
must know is, how have you been doing since...that night back in April?"
"I don't follow."
"He means when you drunkenly
soiled yourself at Mary's last party!" Poppy interjects snidely. "In that silly little nappy of yours!"
"Poppy, please don't," Tim gently chides.
"No, no, that's quite alright, Tim," Aggie replies with a small sigh and a dismissive wave. "It really feels much too hot for me to justify myself, so...no, I won't. To hell with it, I won't! Not to you or anyone, Poppy."
Poppy rolls her eyes. "Is that right?"
"Yes, it is. But I did learn two things that night. One is that I now see why
noblesse oblige always begins with 'no'."
Mary, Arch and Tim chuckle.
"Droll," sighs Poppy languidly. "And the second thing,
Miss Dovecote?"
Aggie steps closer to Poppy and leans in so she's dangerously nose-to-nose with her. "Despite that horrid incidence wherein I unavoidably
shat-" Poppy winces "-myself,
Miss St. Cecile, I really have not taken as much delight in my life as being that naked in the public eye, let alone in front of my so-called, so-
called betters. Now if you had not such a lengthy, excremental stick up your
own arse-!"
"Right, right, very good, Miss D-um, Aggie, I mean, thank you!" Tim hurriedly interjects. "Let's not have a row, ladies. Please. Please? Ah, thank you, ladies, thank you! Arch! Your hand, sir! Very pleased to see you again!"
"The pleasure is quite mine, old boy."
"Cock among the hens, eh?"
"Yes, quite so."
"He's been such a gentleman, bless him," adds Mary sweetly.
"Always is, Lady Mary. Are you two-?"
"No, we're just friends now," Arch quickly answers.
"But still quite close ones."
"I do hope so. If I may surmise the obvious you're here for some bathing, yes?" Tim jolts with a sudden realization. "Oh, Lady Mary, your party! We'd quite forgotten!"
Mary raises a halting hand. "Dissolved. Don't give it another thought."
"So London's just too bloody hot for you, then?"
Arch laughs and nods. "Same with you? Is that why you're here?"
"Oh, erm, yes. Poppy and I were...oh, erm..." He coughs and glances uncertainly at Poppy, who
tsks and points to her bags. "The damned candy, of course," she declares dryly.
"Ah, yes, yes, the candy!" Tim chirps. "Cadbury chocs and Boney's Teeth, Allsorts and well, all sorts! But mostly Tootle-oos. Poppy and I buy 'em at Gumm's whenever we can. I always like to play a bit of Arne or Handel or even 'ta-ra-ra boom-de-ay' on 'em as I go a-lickin'!"
Mary's eyes widen. "That's what I'm going to get! Are there any left?"
"Plenty, Lady Mary, plenty."
"Marvelous! Oh, before I forget I should mention that Diana, Adora and Lidia are here too," says Mary.
Arch wryly imitates a cock's crow.
"Oh-ho, very good, Arch!" Aggie happily applauds.
"They're having a cold quaff or two of whatever in that cafe behind us," Mary continues. "And then sometime in the next hour we're all going bathing. We've our suits in these valises."
"Splendid, splendid!" Tim chirps happily. "May we join you all later?"
Poppy shoots an irate look at Tim, who catches it askance but remains unflappable.
"I don't see why not," Mary replies. "Ag, Arch, what say you?"
"Of course!" smiles Arch.
"Sure, but we still need to find a good beach spot," says Aggie.
"We shall, Ag. Oh, and we must also rent some chairs and parasols," Mary adds.
"I'll gladly add to that expense, if it please your Ladyship," offers Tim with a jaunty bow.
"Yes, if you'd like."
"So shall we all meet here again around three or thereabouts? Poppy and I will most likely ambulate around 'til then."
"Yes, but it'll be at the cafe. It's much too hot out here in the open."
"Splendid, splendid!" Tim exclaims again. "Poppy, have you any objection to that?"
"Yeah, you're not both a teetotaler
and a joyless, horrid prude, are you, Poppy?" sneers Aggie.
Poppy's cool visage flashes scarlet and she inhales deeply through her nose before declaring with a tight smile and slim restraint, "No, not at all,
Aggie! I enjoy the occasional drink or two as much as anyone. In fact I may quite need them today."
"All right, poppet-I mean, Poppy," Tim says. "No more talk. Ladies, gentleman, let us part until then." And so they part.
"Did you notice that, Mary?" asks Aggie as they saunter over to the cafe.
"What's that?"
"The reason they're here in Brighton. I mean, candy? And she called it
damned candy, too, a prig like her! So odd. But you saw Poppy prompting him to say that, didn't you?"
"Yes, I did, actually," says Mary.
"A bit rum, that," suggests Arch.
"And did you notice he called her 'poppet'?"
"Twee," Arch sniffs.
"Where are you going with this, Ag?" Mary asks a bit impatiently.
"I'm just-do either of you think they've a different motive for being here?"
"Like what?" asks Mary.
Aggie throws up her hands. "That's just it, I don't know. It's just...it's..."
"Rum?" Arch finishes.
"No, I prefer 'Schmpf'," Aggie rejoins wryly. "Well, perhaps it's nothing."
"It's an extraordinary coincidence, though," offers Mary.
"Perhaps." Aggie gazes all around the hot, busy pier and asks with a sigh, "Mary, do you think it's possible to swim from here to the Isle of Wight? Or the Midi? Or California, even?"
"California?" Mary shrugs. "Maybe for Lord Byron."
"Oh, or Gertrude Ederle!" adds Arch. "I really quite admire that girl."
"So do I!" Aggie exclaims, then croons,"'Let me call you sweetheart, I'm in love with you.'"
"What's that?" asks Mary.
"One of her favorite songs. Another one is 'Yes, We Have No Bananas' but I don't know the words."
"Do you know the rest of the other one?" asks Arch.
Aggie smiles and nods, slipping in between Mary and Arch and hooking her arms through theirs as they walk merrily on.
"Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
Let me hear you whisper
That you love me too
Keep the love light glowing
In your eyes so true
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you!"
TO BE CONTINUED
IN CHAPTER 5 - 'THE BEACH CONVOS'
DB/7.2016
