Friday, April 1, 2022

The Dumbest Smart Jokes Never Told (Open Post)


 


 
 
-When Norman Bates said "A boy's best friend is his mother" what could that also make the boy?
 
-Her Oedi-pal 
 
 -What was the deformed king called when he was accidentally baked into a yeasty dough?
                                               -In bread (inbred)


       -What was it called when Ricky Ricardo discovered he was impotent?

                                       -The Cuban Missile Crisis
 
 -What kind of bedding does the Pope like to sleep in?
 
-Holy sheets

-What did Lao-tsu's daughter give to her husband?

-A Tao-ry

-What kind of a dance do heavy weepers attend?

-A bawling ball

-What did the ghost say upon catching a thief stealing its clean sheets?  
(Just go with it)

-Boo-sted!
 
-I asked my German friend Klaus which city he was from and he said he was a Hamburger, so I bit him. Needless to say we aren't friends anymore.

In comedy what we call a zinger is known in India as a pun jab.
(Yeah, yeah, I know, sheddap!)
 
Can you tell me the name of a Japanese ninja throwing star?

-Shuriken!

  What did the blase opera singer say when he tuned up his voice?

"Meh meh meh meh mehhhhh!"
(as opposed to "Mi mi mi mi miiiii!")

What do you call a librarian who skis?

-A shusher (schusser) 
(This one's for you, milady!)

What brand-name gum is also a genre of literature?

-Chiclet (Chick-lit)