Wednesday, July 19, 2023

A Long Preface Is a Stop Sign


 

 
 
 
I have, in my home library, two very thick paperback volumes of the epic Italian Renaissance poem Orlando Furioso by Ludovico Ariosto, both of the Penguin Classics series. I've had the first volume since the early 1990s and the second one only since 2015 the latter purchased even though I'd never begun reading the first volume to continue on to the second.  

I had become interested in the poem when I purchased from Dover Publications, Inc. a volume of drawings by the great French illustrator Gustave Dore. I was fascinated by all the knights, damsels and villains, monsters and other creatures (including the flying hippogriff), battles between Moors and Christians, and many other adventures that were depicted in Dore's drawings, not the least of which was the spectacle of the titular Orlando (or Roland in Frankish) who, having been rebuffed in a failed love affair, loses his sanity and goes on a naked, raging, and environmentally destructive tear through the countryside (hence, Orlando Furioso=Mad Roland). All of this I gleaned from the illustrations without having first read the poem.
 
I remember one evening in the 90s when my mom and I went on one of our occasional trips to the Barnes & Noble bookstore at Wheaton Town Square. I had immediately wandered over to that glorious high wall of Penguin classics where I had seen Orlando before and bought the first volume along with some other books. Later I skimmed through it a bit, was satisfied, then promptly set it aside to look at my other purchases - but not before noting how long the Preface of Orlando Furioso, Vol.1 was: 101 pages. For me, it was a figurative stop sign, the end result being that I had lost, at least temporarily, any interest in reading Orlando Furioso.
 
"Rip it out!" Professor John Keating had exhorted his English class pupils as they expunged from their poetry texts the dryasdust 'Introduction to Poetry', a Preface by academic Dr. J. Evans Pritchard, PhD. in the film Dead Poets Society. Believe me, I've often considered that same simple possibility, and not just for Orlando Furioso. But should I? Not necessarily. First, any true bibliophile knows that such a thing shouldn't be done if the book is borrowed. Next, ripping out a Preface, even a manageably readable one, from any book would damage its spinal intregity and forever give it a mangled, third-rate appearance. But probably the best reason not to commit such an act is that I may actually need that Preface, because, if I ever chose to read it, it may aid me in additional comprehension and create a deeper enjoyment of the narrative, and also reveal to me some nuance beyond the simple precis I initially settled for. Drawn out and dry though it may seem to me, by skipping it entirely I might be robbing myself of an opportunity to benefit from its professorial author's expertise on this formidable but enchanting work of Italian Renaissance literature.

Ultimately, though, the Preface is blameless, because the sad and simple fact for my never having read Orlando Furioso, Vol.1 is that I have no patience to read it or any other of the brick-thick books I own, like Dune, War and Peace, Droll Stories, The Mahabharata and The Adventures of Amir Hamza (although, wonder of wonders, I read pretty much all three volumes of The Arabian Nights, also from Penguin Classics, so it can be done). And as far as the time required to perusing them goes, it can be a struggle to read even fairly shorter volumes when I face an armada of ever-present time-eaters - work, internet, TV, and print media, not to mention, to paraphrase John Lennon, Life happening when you've made other plans. I've won many battles and skirmishes against that armada, but the war goes on and may at length be unwinnable, but it's never, ever boring.

Many of you reading this understand all this and can sympathize, and I don't doubt you have sizeable home libraries of your own. Maybe, like me, you also have piles of books prioritized for near-future perusal, and maybe, to use a slightly worn simile, they seem to tower over you like mountains, but if you're a voracious enough reader, and, despite the armada, you can erode those mountains down to hills (or hillocks, where I am) and even to plateaus. And maybe, when someday I reach that plateau and my interest in Orlando waxes once again, I'll just blow through that damned stop sign, and, along with a (willing) damsel, catch a ride on a hippogriff to watch the Moors and Christians go at it yet again.

Oh, and maybe get Orlando some clothes. And find him an Anger Management therapist.


DB/2022


 
 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Friday, July 7, 2023

Pearl in Her Cup (Version Two)

 


Branks arresting,
with scarlet blows, welts.
Migraines for mothers, a death for daughters.
 
He gave her poisoned electric eels,
she prefers sweet-breads (noo, not those).

Where have all the gentle-men gone?

 
So,
she bears...
(She bears she-bears?)
...up.
 
The pearl boils and writhes,
the cup hottens.

Then BREAKS!!!!

Aaannnddd thennnn
she WILL rip ope' the cage,
she WILL reforge it into a
(heh) ball and chain!!

Aaannnddd thennnn...
ROARRRRR!!!!! (obvi)
 
Look at 'er go!
 
A Boudicca,
a Jeanne,
a Ranee of Jhansi...
in mom jeans, sweat pants, or?

In victory
she laughs,
a cool rain, a flood 
in fractured deserts. 
Dances a reverse Kali step.

Then she will smile 
and gladly (gentle-man, there you are!) accept the flowers
you bought for her.


The pearl is love.
 

DB/7.2023
 
 
 
 
 

 




 

Tuesday, February 28, 2023

Gris-gris


 

 

"say, that's a cool whip"

zoombuzz blue
hell afternoon
 
screams 
 
(Zora thinks later
a flaying
would have been 
more merciful)
 
Gullahs hear,
wipe away sweat
 
white raspy laughter
 
in-out
 
she runs to the governor,
dares to say the word
 
"Free-"
 
*SLAP*
 
white oily laughter
 
in-out
 
he/it: "who hurt you notus nobody noone that's who! yerfault! YERFAULT!!" 
(belch-bellow) "HWOOOKE!!!!!!"
 
Zora (soprano): "so, I'll see Laveau!"
 
first, prayer 
White god
def+dum
(blind? never! heh.)
 
flees the Angriff purgative,
ducks under Nola's patchy skirts 
 
hut
and Marie's grim fireface smile 

"the swamp is a gentle lover,
as much even as a man"

Zora puts in an order
for at least 3 million
gris-gris

"the Mississippi is not the Amazon-
patience
 
you need them
for a long time
 
    a long time"
 
 
DB/2.2023
 






 
 
 

Tuesday, February 14, 2023

It /Not It

                                                 

  

starlight filters down

morning
in
Kansas
in
1906
 
for unto us is born this day
    a little chickadee
 
sudden screams in the Puritan night
(screeeEEEEECHH!!!!!!!)
 
send no Flowers
 
so hie, girl, to the Western hills,
hie thou, then, to the Eastern forests
on long, long roads
 
flickers
 
Lulu conquistadora
 
friends + lovers
 
(love?)
 
 
say,
what's all that flashing over there?
lightning? cameras?
 
media circus
men in the millions
high up, two women
on the dais of santorum (eww!)
by the palace of Hollywood
 
"is it her?-
is it her?-
does she have 'It'?" 
 
"Brooklyn baby!
oh you kid!"
 
"give us a smile, girlie!
no, pout! pout!
smolder! 
smolder!
pose!
pose!
 
SMILE, DAMMIT!!"


Mrs. Glyn coughs loudly

silence

with haughty benedictions
she adorns the girl
with the yoni crown
stol'n from Zuleika Dobson
  at MagicCon

cheers!
screams!
frenzies!
fappings!

o
men
 
the girl on the dais
smiles (genuinely) and waves to our heroine
who replies in kind
 
they all pivot to her
to male gaze,
to salivate and idolize

"yeh,
she's a looker, alright,
a dish,
a beaut,

a lulu

but she ain't got 'It'.
she ain't the 'It' goil."
 
huh 
nowaitHUH?!

she
strutted through
the fires of two Babylons

she
broke thousands of hearts,
launched a million bob cuts
 
she
when trapped under grim presses
and Death offered her flowers
arranged in a black bottle,
spat in its ashy Muench-en face


RAH-chester!!!
and a tome smart and savage
 
but did she share my grandma's hosp. rm.
in 1979? (no, 
                I wish)
 
 
 
we are all Roman candles 
but she 
and also 'she'
live and play in celluloid
shimmering starshine 
for themselves
and for all of us


always


 
DB/2.2023
 
 
Music: "Pandora's Box" by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD)

Happy Valentine's Day, Dear Hearts!💕

               
 
 
 

 

 

Thursday, December 22, 2022

Presents 3 (The Bestest Ones Yet!)

 

                 

              

 

           Candy Cane Hard and Snowfall Soft Holiday Mix, Vol.5

 

1. A Christmas Carol (from 'Scrooge' (Original London Cast)) - Donna Bosworth, Elizabeth McTernan, James Edge, Jerome Wallington

2. Three Pieces from "The Snowman": Walking in the Air - George Winston

3. Xmas Time of the Year - Green Day

4. A Holly Jolly Christmas - Burl Ives

5. It Came Upon A Midnight Clear - Julie Andrews

6. The Man From Caesaria - Friedemann

7. Christmas Is Coming - Vince Guaraldi Trio

8. I Have A Little Dreidel - Barenaked Ladies

9. Oi To The World - No Doubt 

10. Let Me Sleep (It's Christmas Time) - Pearl Jam

11. Angels We Have Heard On High - David Lanz

12. Kenyan Christmas Carol - Phil Passen

13. Ice Dance (from 'Edward Scissorhands') - Danny Elfman

14. Stopping by Woods - Robert Frost

15. Winterlude - Bob Dylan

16. We Need a Little Christmas - Angela Lansbury

17. Christmas Party - The Monkees

18. Christmas Time Is Here - Fourplay

19. I Can't Have A Merry Christmas Mary (Without You) - Jerry Lee Lewis

20. Shepherd's Pipe Carol - John Rutter, James Galway, et al.

21. Silver Bells - Loretta Lynn

22. You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch - Thurl Ravenscroft

23. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire) - Aaron Neville

24. Oiche Chiuin (Silent Night) - Dordan

25. Hark! The Herald Trumpets Sing - Mannheim
26. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing       Steamroller

27. Holy, Holy, Holy - Jim Brickman, David Klinkenberg

28. Atheists Don't Have No Songs - Steve Martin, Steep Canyon Rangers

29. The Spirits of Christmas - Bob's Burgers, Kevin Kline

30. What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? - Seth MacFarlane

31. Auld Lang Syne (Live at the Fillmore East, NY - 12/31/69) -Jimi Hendrix

32. The Great Gate of Kiev (from 'Pictures at an Exhibition') - Modest Mussorgsky, Berlin Philharmoniker, Herbert von Karajan 


DB/12.2022

Happy holidays, everyone! Stay safe, have tons o' fun and I'll see you next year!🎅🤶🎄⛄🎆🍷


Thursday, November 24, 2022

Former Pres.Trump Pardons Prison Turkey Dinner

 

         

Youpeeeye 

FEDERAL PRISON TBD-Former President Donald Trump pardoned the pieces of turkey, which he dubbed 'Slabs' and 'Slices', of his Thanksgiving dinner in the prison commissary, much to the approval of the white supremacist gang he was seated with. But after instigating a riot over a demand for McDonalds he was apprehended and once again placed in solitary confinement.

DB/11.23.2022


One more to outshine The Onion! Yeah!

Happy Thanksgiving, all! Bon appetit!🦃🍴🍷


 

Monday, November 14, 2022

To Pvt. Leslie Baron of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders, 4th Canadian Armoured Division, KIA 8/20/1944, Aged 22

 

                                                    1922 - 1944                                

                                                  

I watched you die again
 
there
 
shimmer
tall grass flow,
dull rickety fence,
hot bombarded space 
 
(Summer Eden)

there
 
again


arose
 
ROSE up!!!
NOT afraid!!!!
 
and the
malign bullet struck
your dewy temples,
spittling
false ichor
 
bang 

crack
 

Ulan adopted
your (baby) radio
 
 
stupid Can-NUCK!!!

 
then later
you
your corpse 
disappeared

where did you go?
 
melted?
ashed?
Heaven'd?
Hell'd?

de-pixelated?

 
hm


                                                      interlude

hup
hup 
hup 
hup 
hup

boomlay BOOM
 
reveille is a siren call for killers
 

radio spirit


                     announcer: and now, ladies and gentlemen,
                                        here for your listening pleasure
                                        is the Europa Mincemeat Children's Choir!
                               
                                        applause
 
                                        music, children's voices, singing
 
                                        wormy wormy worms
                                        wormy wormy worms
                                        move deep in the ground,
                                        they don't make a sound
                                        wormy wormy worms 
                                           
                                        wormy wormy worms 
                                        wormy wormy worms
                                        we'll lie without groans
                                        as they feed off our bones
                                        wormy wormy worms 

                                        as far as we can tell
                                        our Heaven is a Hell

                                        wormy wormy worms
                                        wormy wormy worms
                                        now come join along
                                        as we finish this song
                                        wormy wormy worms!
 
                                        massive applause
 
  
reclaiming his time
(sorry, pvt.)
 
your father's medalled jacket
too big to fit you

and it lets in
the cold


but 


but
know this,
pvt. Baron


Robichaud can talk
as much shit as he wants
 
hanging back 
is not cowardice 

also, yeah,
the radio

can't leave it an orphan
 
can't
 
 
but
I have seen you
shoot at the Germans 


far as I'm concerned
you have fought 
you are brave

 
you do your dad
and Canada proud,
soldier


may ethereal radio waves
comfort you with peaceful lullabyes
as your soul wafts further
up to God

 
 
at least
until next year


when I'll watch you die again



DB/11.2022