JESUS H. CHRIST: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
SIGMUND FREUD: SCHEISSSCHEISSSCHEISSSCHEISSSCHEISSSCHEISSSCHEISS!!!
POPE (Not-So) INNOCENT III (yes, really): I have found Thee at last, O Christ!! Suffer me to lay down and worship at Thine feet once again!!
JHC (panting): Crapcrapcrap, he's gaining on us!!
SF (same): How'd he even find us?!
JHC: Dunno!! Just keep moving!!
I3: Why dost Thou flee from me, my Lord? I am Thy good and faithful servant!
JHC: Shut up, asshole, SHUT UP!!
I3: Hath I not pleased Thee by vanquishing Thy enemies the heretical Albigensians?! Hath I not done right according to Thy will?!
JHC: Oh, for-HEY, DAN!!
DB (a.k.a. moi): Uhh, yeah?
JHC: DUDE, STOP TAKIN' PICTURES AND DO SOMETHING!!! GET THIS PRICK OUTTA HERE!!!
DB (a bit too snidely): Ahh, but doesn't Heaven help those-
JHC: OH, FUCK THAT SHIT, DAN!! DO SOMETHING!!!
I3: Fie! Such foul and ungracious language from the Lamb of God!! (spots 'The Satanic Bible' lying prone, gasps) Oh! This must belong to the white-haired demon there! An infernal influence! (to SF) Fie on you, Devil! Tempt not my Lord again!
SF: Ach, I'm neither demon nor Devil, Innocent! Dummkopf! I'm Sigmund, remember?! Besides that's his book, not mine!
I3 (roars): LIAR!!!
JHC: DAN!!!
DB: Alright, alright! (I pick up I3 by his feet, or rather the smooth plastic robes covering his feet, and whisk him away to the Box.)
SF: No, don't take him to the Box yet! Place him somewhere else for now!
DB: Ooh, I know!
I3: NO!! PLEASE!! O Almighty God, what hath I done to offend Thee?!?
DB (in a throaty booming voice, but not nearly impressively basso enough as God in 'The Ten Commandments' was, sad to say): IF I TOLD YOU YOU'D PROBABLY NEVER BELIEVE ME, INNOCENT!! HAH!! NOW INTO MY SPECIAL INSECT-CATCHING JAR WITH YOU!!! (I insert him into my special insect-catching jar. Chill out, PETA, it's strictly for catch-and-release! Jeez!)
JHC: Noice!
SF: That's some good Fourth Wall breakin', Jay!
JHC: That oughta hold him for now, at least 'til he calms down. Thanks, Dan!
SF: Ja, danke!
DB:YUP! I mean, yup. Okay, I'm gonna take 'Not-So' Innocent away now, guys. See ya!
I3 (muffled): Noooooooooo!
SF: RUHIG!!
JHC: But remember don't put him in the Box yet, Dan!
DB: Got it!
SF: Look, look, here come the ladies now, Jay! Let's skee-daddle!
JHC: Right-o, but first (as they both exit) ladies and gentlemen...
LOOK WHO'S NEXT!!
ANNE BONNEY (sullenly): Aannd women get the Bronze!
MARIE ANTOINETTE: Merde!
AB: I'm not cleaning all this bloody mess up, either!
MA: Non!
AB: Belay that, Marie! I know you speak English!
MA (giggling): Oui!
AB (sighs): Whatever. Okay, then, so I guess our turn's coming up soon, isn't it? Eventually. If everyone out there's got that squared away then I'm outta here!
MA (nervously eyeing Anne's weaponry): A-anne?
AB: Yeah?
MA: Please don't kill me!
AB (sighs as if for the millionth time, as they exit): Couldn't if I wanted to, Your Majesty. And I don't.
DB/7.2017
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