How Does a Man Knock on the Door of a Woman's Heart?

 

 

How does a man knock on the door of a woman's heart?

(Asking for a friend.) 

 

Two examples: 

Does he pound on it heavily like 

a looming, sweaty, brutish, 

Stanley Kowalski?

("HEY, OPEN UP!!! I LIKE YA, GODDAMMIT, SO C'MON, LEMME IN ALREADY!!!")

Or tap it so shyly as to be nearly unheard by her

by a small, nebbish, anxious

Woody Allen?

 

("Oh, hi, hey, uh...heh...jeez!...um, e-excuse me, nice lady, I...uh...was-was, heh, wondering...w-would you, um...w-would you...um...please let me into...your...uhhhh...)

Ehhh... 

 

Or will it ultimately be some firm, quick, evenly spaced raps

and that's all,

but she'll hear them?

And if she's not not interested

does he play the troubador, or

do the over-remembered "Say Anything" bit?

Strew the path to her heart with sweets&sweet nothings/flowers/semi-fine dining/wine&spirits? (hmm, maybe that last one...)

 

Ehhh...

too much, too soon. 

But wait, though. First let's see things a little from her view.

 

She might not be having any of it,

be having a bad time in her life,

scream "Go away!",

the door locked or,  

worse, soldered shut,

never to open.

That's a bit pessimistic, though.

Let say she's receptive,

and if he can get through to her

(and she deems him sufficiently non threatening

but not quite close enough to hand him her spare key),

she may open the door a tiny crack,

even slide it open more than an inch,

but never throw it wide wide open 

(no, not that, yet, 

which is much more than fine for now)

or reach a hand round for a quick shake-"How d'you do, sir?"

(And remember that famous saying:

"The operative word in gentleman is 'gentle'."

-Dan Beardgild (who?))

Further, he can offer to drink in carefully and attentively

her daily narratives through the mail slot.

Listen-- 

then maybe...over time...maybe...juust maaybee...

that will lead to sssssss-eeeeeeee-ehhhhhhh----

platonically slothin' out on a couch-Netflix and chill snackin', drinkin' 

and fartin' into the couch cushions.

Also, remember that other famous saying:

"Sex is on the table but it need not be the centerpiece."

-Dan Beardgild (*pfft* this guy again?--name sounds made-up and anagrammatic) 

So,

anyway, 

yes.

Finis?

Finis. 

No, no, I won't wait here

(got things to do)

but... 

 

this poem is also a door, ladies,

I'll leave unlocked 

and the porch light on

for you.

 

 

*knockknockknockknockknock*

... 

 

 

DB/9.2026